I used to be intimidated by people who were smarter than me. But there was so many of them around! Just as one hangs out with uglier people to appear better looking or with fatter people to look skinny, I decided to hang out with smarter people not because I thought I was smarter then them, I would just let them dominate the conversation and all I would have to do was nod my head or say “Ditto”! I love smarter people so much, I married one and boy, does she tell me how smart I look when we’re together!
Being from the Midwest, I was brought up in a meat & potato family. I was raised on a meat & potato diet. I had childhood friends with nicknames like “Potato-Head”, as I swear every haircut he would get had to be done by a peeler. “Porky”, not because he was fat, but his skin would NEVER get any darker than pink. We would have two practices a day in baseball for many days straight and his skin would always stay pink. Cannibals were guaranteed to get salmonella if they ate him, no matter how long he cooked. “Stew” because we could never really figure out his heritage. I mean, who celebrates Bastille Day and Vernal Equinox Day? “Bones”, let’s just say he never really had anything left to offer. We played games like “Chicken” or when playing team games, one team had to be “Skins”. Mom would have a “Cow” if she saw some of the things we didn’t tell her about.
When I graduated both high school and college, I would receive messages from family and friends saying “Well-Done” or when I would receive promotions from work, I was considered to be in my “Prime” and that a person like me was “Rare” (no feedback please). Annual Holidays were spent around burgers, hot dogs, corned beef, ham and turkeys. Famous couples were Sonny & Cher, Rowan & Martin, Simon & Garfunkel, Last Place & Cubs and of course, KF & C.
We grew up around places like the “Stockyards”, while we chewed the fat. If we didn’t have a pig in a blanket, we had a chicken in every pot. If God didn’t want us to eat meat, why did he make most animals slower than us? Or as John Cleese stated; “If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat”? Yes, “Beefcakes” and “Meat Market” had two different meanings in the Midwest!
It was brought to my attention today that there is such a thing sold as “Salted” seaweed. Seriously, is there actually a market for “Unsalted” seaweed? I’m old enough to remember when unsalted potato chips came out. My only thought then was; “What’s the point”? Wouldn’t you get the same effect and taste just by eating the salted potato chip box (not that they come in boxes anymore)? Anyway, I have been told by a very reliable source that some markets even have aisles of seaweed. Aisles!!!!!!!! Please…..let that sink in (no pun intended)….Aisles of seaweed! Domestic, imported, spiced, pickled and who knows what else? Is there a craft-seaweed market? Fill up my growler! The name itself leaves a bad taste in the mouth of this vegetarian carnivore. There is no positives (unless one is smoking it) in a weed…..aren’t most weeds the nasty things we try to kill in our yards that eventually cause green algae? Does seaweed inherit the salad dressing we call Round-Up? We’re talking seaweed here. I bet most of us would have the exact same type of scream in pitch and volume whether we were bitten by a shark or our pinky toe touched an unexpected, slimy piece of seaweed underwater. Shark or seaweed? Just as frightening!
Then the smart people talked to me. Turns out, seaweed has been proven to improve energy levels, appetite, aid in digestive health and helps avoid birth defects in pregnant women. Seaweed is high in vitamin A, C, E, K and B-12 or whatever grade you’re going into. For those with high blood pressure, my guess is you need to seek out “Unsalted” seaweed. Places like Lake Michigan, ice rinks and drawn baths come to mind. Who knew that a Zamboni could multi-task as a combine/harvester?
Spicy seaweed snacks are very popular with the smart people I know. It is also very popular with smart, pregnant women I know. Seems to be even more popular with smart, pregnant, daughter-in-laws I know. At first as a grandfather, I was concerned about my daughter-in-law not having enough energy to give birth and my new grandson not receiving the proper nutrients needed to be a healthy newborn. By eating all this seaweed, selfishly, I just didn’t want my daughter-in-law to give birth to a guppy. I no longer worry. Smart people know what they’re doing and they always have the results to prove it. As Styx sang; Come Kale away”!!
However………………………Grandfathers also know a thing or two and I know as soon as my grandson is born……we’re going out for a burger!!!!
Ramble On 